Balance In Our Lives: Marriage

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Balance in our lives…

What an interesting idea, to have balance in our lives. As a biologist, the definition of balance is when the weight on one side of the scale is exactly equal to the weight on the other side. But just like in life, the items we are trying to balance all have different weights.  Sometimes you have to mix and match to find the right combination of items to balance the scales at the right times.

As a mom of 2, my balance has admittedly been horrendous over the last 12 years.  I have let my children and their weight pretty much take me over.  Relinquishing a life that I remember loving that included, my husband, friends, nights out, and lazy weekends.

I realize that the lazy weekends may be forever a thing of the past.  But now that my kids are getting older, I am hoping to find a way to get back to some of the things my husband and myself enjoyed before our kids.  I am hoping to find more balance in our lives in many ways.  But the first thing I want to do is find more balance in our lives by re-strengthening our marriage.

Let it take you back…

The memories I mean.  Just let them take you back.  Do you and your husband ever start talking about the past?  I mean before kids.  What were your lives like then?  Who did you hang out with, where did you go, what did you do?  My husband and I do this all the time.  We start reminiscing and find that we are practically drooling over our forsaken memories.

Lately, we have been realizing that our kids are finally getting old enough that we can do more!  By ourselves! We have found that maybe we can actually find balance in our lives and have a life after all!

Making the Change

At this point in time, our kids cannot stay home alone yet. But we know, that if we leave them to take a walk around the neighborhood or go to the neighbor’s house, they will be fine.   That doesn’t give us a lot of freedom, but at least we are starting to feel alive again!  Not that I ever felt “dead” with my kids, but when you start getting back to some of the things you used to do, you realize that maybe you have only been a shell of your former self for the last so many years.

And you know, my husband and I actually went on an overnight trip last summer. (When I write it that way it sounds like we are going to camp.)  Anyway, we drove about 2 hours and spent two nights away from our kids!

Some of you may do this all the time, but for us, it was magnificent!  The last time my husband and I spent a weekend away was before my second child, so it has been at least 8 years.

We felt like we went back in time.  We actually had a bottle of wine at a winery!  Yup!  And didn’t have to put any kids to bed afterward!

We ate dinner at 10 pm!  Not at 5:30 like every other day!  Just that break in schedule was such a relief!  And now we have got the itch.  To try to do more, to get out more, to reconnect with each other more!  (Sorry for all the exclamation points, but I am really excited about this!)

Balance in our lives.  If this is where we need to start, so be it.  It will be good for our marriage.  And with a better marriage maybe we will actually be better parents?  Something to think about.